Past Interviews:

So Cal Slyme
Plattsburgh Champs
Chicago Black Sox
New Milford Blazers
Queensboro Kings
Minneapolis Haymakers
Madison Fighting Mimes
Salem Cowtippers
Los Altos Undertakers

April 30, 2000
by "Biggest Daddy"

Disclaimer: There is a common misperception that "Biggest Daddy" is Commissioner Glander.  There is no truth to this rumor.  Biggest Daddy is an owner in the BDBL who, for good reason, wishes to remain anonymous.  The BDBL and Commissioner Glander are not responsible in any way for comments or questions posed by Biggest Daddy.

Interview with Mike Stein, Cleveland Rocks

BIGGEST DADDY: You have Roberto Alomar, Ben Grieve, Ivan Rodriguez, Vladimir Guerrero, Ryan Klesko, Steve Finley and Adrian Beltre in your everyday lineup, and some competent if not ace pitchers. Why does your team suck?

MIKE STEIN: Good question! Why did you have to start with such a hard one? When I know the answer I'll be as good as the Salem Cowtippers.

BD: When you have big events at your stadium, are you ever successful in getting celebrities other than Drew Carey to participate?

MS: Not since my team sucks.

BD: Why DID you cut Matt Mantei & Milton Bradley?

MS: I didn't know I left Matt Mantei off my list until I was looking over the protected lists a week before the draft. Milton Bradley tried to punch me, so I had to get rid of him.

BD: What makes Cleveland rock?

MS: Local music, Jacobs field, microbreweries, high school football and basketball, the Flats, the Browns, and a yearning to be loved and accepted by every big city resident nationwide! (Notice I left out the Cavs.)

BD: As a librarian, do you sneak into the stacks or spend countless hours on the web doing baseball-related activities?

MS: I'm at "work" doing this right now, so the latter certainly holds true. And the computer at my desk has about as fast an Internet connection as you could ask for. I have spent countless work hours surfing for the extra input I need to dominate the BDBL and have been tempted to sap our book buying budget with two dozen copies of Bob Costas' new book. And yet my team still sucks.

BD: Which former Cleveland player would help your team the most? Miguel Dilone, Corey Snyder, Charlie Spikes, or David Clyde?

MS: I'd take Charlie Spikes only if he had the blood-red Tribe uniform of the '70s.

BD: Is the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame worth visiting? What audio recording would you like to see in the R and R HOF as a testament to rock and roll greatness?

MS: It's worth visiting if you live less than 20 minutes away and have never been there. They do have some good free concerts out front in the middle of summer every once in awhile -- good bands like the Barenaked Ladies. Of course there need only be one song in the RRHOF to prove rock greatness -- Cleveland Rocks!! Or check out www.MikeFarley.com and www.theexcentrics.com for some music you just may be missing.

BD: Did you ever dress up like Robin (Batman's sidekick) for Halloween and wear green tights?

MS: Let me ask my girlfriend if I can tell that story. Because it wasn't for Halloween.

BD: Do you drink booze when you play BDBL games over NM? If so, what is your drink of choice?

MS: Unfortunately, drunken managing does not explain why my team sucks. Since my home computer has been broken for two months (long story) I can only play via NetMeeting in computer labs where no food or drink is allowed. Therefore, no drinking. But when I get my home computer back, don't be surprised if Dave Roberts starts batting cleanup!

BD: Are you ready to throw in the towel on this season and make some deals for the future?

MS: The 2001 Rocks could very well feature a one-year-removed MVP in Ivan Rodriguez at C, a revived Frank Thomas at 1B, Roberto Alomar at 2B, an even better Adrian Beltre at 3B, a blossoming Ben Grieve in LF and studly entering-the-prime-of-his-career Vladimir Guerrero in right field. Our pitching could use some help, but we do have Sidney Ponson, Ramon Ortiz, Brian Rose, Jose Silva and Bobby Howry for starters. I suppose I could trade someone off for four or five more prospects, but wouldn't you take your chances with that lineup? (I don't mean to question you, Biggest Daddy, I'm just asking rhetorically.)

BD: What BDBL team have you formed a rivalry with (if any)?

MS: Since the Queensboro Kings pitched a no-hitter against me, I can't wait to get my revenge. And that guy that never returns any Email -- who is that? He's next on my list.

BD: Compare and contrast your style to that of John Hart.

MS: What the *#$*@*#*@ do you think this is, English Composition essay time? One difference is that John Hart's team doesn't suck and mine does.

BD: Who would win in a fight between the Dewey Decimal system and the Library of Congress system?

MS: Librarian are too nice to fight. Now don't make me come over there.