Past Interviews:

Bob Sylvester, Sr.
Tim Zigmund
John Gill
Billy Romaniello
Joe Brennan
Eric Zigmund
Brian Hicks
Mike Glander
Jeff Paulson
Mike Stein
Paul Marazita
Chris Luhning
Matt Clemm
Gene Patterson

January 31, 2001
by "Biggest Daddy"

Interview with D.J. Sheppard, Akron Ryche

BIGGEST DADDY: What does the Ryche mascot look like?

D.J. SHEPPARD: When we first joined the league, we did some consumer testing with our original idea for our mascot, which was just a guy in a costume that looked like our logo. It didn't test well, to say the least. The guy had trouble keeping from tipping over at first. He eventually got the hang of staying upright, but then we found that he was always running into things with the "arms" of the logo. He even managed to get stuck in a few doorways. And those were the good points of his short lived career. The kids we tested with were pretty scared of the sight of him. He brought more than a few to tears.

The general reaction from the adults that we tested with were things like, "what's with the walking Batman logo?" and "what does that big knife thing have to do with baseball?". After scrapping that mascot idea, in a moment of inspiration we came up with the R˙chettes. Basically, the R˙chettes are a group of scantily clad, young women that make their way around our stadium greeting fans and passing out R˙che souvenirs like T-shirts, baseballs, temporary R˙che tattoos (just like the ones that each R˙chette prominently sports), etc... Needless to say, they've been a huge hit...at least with the male portion of our fans.

BD: If you were a pro wrestler, what would your name and signature move be?

DS: Funny you should ask this. Mike Ries came up with a wresting game that we would play using dice and charts. Don't laugh, it was a good time. Anyway, I had a wrestler that I made up for that game, the Sanity Assassin. I believe my signature move was a DDT. If I were coming up with a signature move for the SA now, I'd probably just use my opponent's signature move on him...just to mess with his mind.

BD: What obscure music have you heard recently that you would recommend to others?

DS: Spiral Architect "A Sceptic's Universe". Awesome band from Norway. Very complex, technical, intense, and progressive musically. Incredible musicians.

BD: How good is your golf game? What part of it needs the most help?

DS: I come from the John Daly "Grip and Rip" school of golf. I basically taught myself to play, so lessons are on the agenda for the future. The short game would have to be my weakest area. Off the tee is the best part of my game, at least when I'm hitting them straight. I've actually driven the green on a few par fours before.

BD: If you were John Hart, what would you do differently to make the Indians a winner?

DS: First, I would steal one of the scouting directors away from one of the teams that have put together killer farm systems (Reds, A's, White Sox, etc...) Then in conjunction with building the farm back up, I'd start to trust using the young players instead of trading them away for all these mediocrities and spare parts.

BD: What will the Ryche lineup look like in 2001?

DS: I should have the luxury of having set, stable lineups for the whole year. I don't see much tinkering being done with them unless they seem to not be scoring like they should.

BD: Predict the order of the Hrbek division in 2001.

DS: I'm flattered by what has been predicted on the web page, and I do feel that we will be in the mix come playoff time. However, I'll go with the defending champs in the Hrbek until someone knocks them off. It should be one of the toughest divisions in the BDBL, especially if the Rocks can get any starting pitching at all. The deciding factor will probably end up being which team can make that key acquisition during the season.

1. Chicago
2. Akron
3. Cleveland
4. Atlanta

BD: You're Jack Tripper from "Three's Company," would you rather date Janet or Chrissy?

DS: Out of those two, I'm going with Chrissy...if only for purely physical reasons. If I could choose from any of the roommates he had, I might take Jennilee Harrison...despite her klutziness.

BD: When in Cleveland make sure you _______ and go eat at _________ (fill in the blanks)

DS: Make sure you catch a game at Jacobs Field. If you're into the bar scene, hit the Flats afterwards to do some "sightseeing". As far as places to eat in Cleveland, I can't really come up with anything off the top of my head, which isn't a commentary on the quality of the eateries in Cleveland...I just have rarely dined in the "big city".

BD: Do you have any advice for our new president?

DS: Bring on some Libertarians as advisors, start reducing the size of the federal government as much as possible, and when in doubt just ask yourself if it would've fit in with what the founding Fathers had in mind when they wrote the Constitution.