Past Interviews:

Bob Sylvester, Sr.
Tim Zigmund
John Gill
Billy Romaniello
Joe Brennan
Eric Zigmund
Brian Hicks
Mike Glander
Jeff Paulson
Mike Stein
Paul Marazita
Chris Luhning
Matt Clemm
Gene Patterson
DJ Shepard
Chris Schultheis
Phil Geisel
Adam Musson
Scot Zook

October 22, 2001
by "Biggest Daddy"

Interview with Jim Doyle, Manchester Irish Rebels

BIGGEST DADDY: What went wrong with the Irish Rebels this season?

JIM DOYLE: Obviously, trading our number one draft pick for two lower picks backfired on us because of the lack of quality free agent pitchers available in the draft. Roger Clemens just was not worth $10 million at the time of the draft. 39-year-old pitchers are not supposed to win Cy Young awards. In addition, Billy Wagner blew out his arm and that decimated our bullpen.

BD: If you can tell us, what are your plans for the off-season?

JD: Well, our franchise is ranked 23rd out of 24 teams in all time BDBL records. Despite that fact, our franchise has one play off appearance. I believe the return of Kerry Wood and Billy Wagner to full health places us on the verge of returning to the playoffs if we are able to acquire a front line pitcher and a lead off hitter with a high OBP. Our front office will be challenged to make those acquisitions given our salary cap problems.

BD: What were the high and low points of this season for you?

JD: The high point of any season is any victory over the hated intrastate rival known as the Salem Cowtippers. It was a sweet day watching Rick Ankiel hit a grand slam against Salem and pick up the win especially given Mike Glander's harsh words about Ankiel's mental health. The low point of the season was the dismal performance of the bullpen, especially John Franco.

BD: If you had the #1 pick in the draft next season, who would you take?

JD: Randy Johnson has to be the favorite. I learned my lesson by passing on Clemens.

BD: You were criticized by the BDBL press earlier this season for trading away Carl Everett. In retrospect, though, that was the smartest move you could have made given what's happened to him. Not only is it addition by subtraction, but you ended up getting Manny Ramirez in the end. What do you now have to say to those who doubted you?

JD: I thought Carl Everett was a time bomb ready to explode. On the other hand, he has great potential. The Rebels cannot afford to pay for potential.

BD: As someone who has both traded and acquired Rick Ankiel this season, do you believe he'll ever be as good as he was?

JD: Rick Ankiel will either become another Sandy Koufax or a David Clyde. I like the fact he overcame many obstacles in life so I think he will become another Koufax.

BD: You have only nine players under contract for next year. If Cutdown Day were today, who would be your other six keepers?

JD: Marlon Anderson, Jolbert Cabrera, Darren Lewis, Ruben Mateo, Rey Ordonez, David Cone and Ryan Rupe. I may also just eat Encarcion's salary.

BD: I understand you're the commissioner of the BDBL's "sister" football league. How's that going? Compare and contrast the two leagues for me.

JD: The KRFL is the football brother of the BDBL. The league would not exist without the help of the BDBL commissioner, which I must begrudgingly thank. I believe the KRFL offers the best in football simulation just as the BDBL offers the best for baseball.

BD: If you were commish of the BDBL, what - if anything - would you change?

JD: I would require all the BDBL owners to chip in and buy Mrs. Commissioner a weekend retreat at a spa for the aggravation and time away from the family a commissioner must give up.

BD: What type of law do you practice in New Hampshire? Does being an attorney help you in a league like this?

JD: I basically do commercial litigation. I think being an attorney helps me understand the dark, sinister thoughts of Paul Marazita, the Attila of the BDBL.

BD: According to your profile, you have a degree in economics from Rockhurst University. What do you foresee for the U.S. economy over the next twelve months?

JD: The best thing about an economics degree is the ability to understand why you are unemployed. I think anyone should read THE LEXUS AND THE OLIVE TREE by Thomas Friedman to answer that question.

BD: I see that you also have a degree in philosophy. Who is your favorite philosopher and why?

JD: John Paul II. I recommend you read WITNESS TO HOPE by George Weigel. Pages 125-129 discuss how Karol Wojtyla combined Thomas Aquinas' scholasticism with Max Schuler's phenomenology to create a philosophical framework, which addresses the whole person without dividing human experience into objective or subjective parts. In short, a very consistent philosophical basis for every aspect of human life.

BD: If a tree falls in a forest, and Rick Ankiel still can't hit the catcher's mitt...ah, nevermind. Rumor has it that you were in a DMB league with Chuck Shaeffer and Bryan Sakolsky before you joined the BDBL. Do you still have nightmares about that?

JD: I think everyone has their strengths and weaknesses and Chuck and Bryan are no exception. I think they both are very knowledgeable gamers and they have a long-standing baseball league. I will leave the negative remarks to others. On a final note, people change and grow and I hope to work on my own weaknesses before dwelling on others.

BD: You've actually met Dan Quayle in person? What's he like? Is he really a moron or does he just play one on TV?

JD: It is very sad that our country lives and dies by media images. Quayle has served as a U.S. Senator and Vice President of the United States. I think Bill Clinton could learn a few things from Quayle, not the least of which is how to keep his pants on but that is a different subject for a different time....

BD: Do you like Al Gore's beard?

JD: The problem is Al Gore does not know whether he likes it until he gets the poll results. Al Gore has no personal achievements that Quayle has not attained yet the difference in images is quite amazing and unwarranted.

BD: Would you rather eat five pounds of cookies or five pounds of potato chips (or, as Quayle would call them, "potatoe chips")?

JD: Given my Irish heritage and the fact that my family left Ireland because of the potato famine, I am partial to potato chips. I guess it is dumber to misspell a word that your aide gave you than to have oral sex with an intern in the White House and possibly give your intern AIDS but such is the view of the American media, which is the bright paragon of truth and virtue and the American way....

BD: What is/are your nickname(s)? What did you do to deserve them?

JD: My brother in law Mike calls me "Rain Man" because I use to memorize baseball lineups and stats when I was a kid. I can also watch a pro football or basketball game and rattle off where the players went to college. Mike knows little about sports and does not understand the joy of such endeavors...

BD: What do you do for exercise?

JD: I am struggling with middle age and 240 pounds on a six-foot frame and various ailments. I am attempting to fight back by walking 15 to 20 miles a week. Time will tell if I win.

BD: Do you care about Michael Jordan coming back to the NBA?

JD: Michael Jordan used to play minor league baseball for the White Sox, didn't he??? Pro Basketball has lost its soul and my interest. I only watch college basketball because at least they care about whether they win or lose before the tournament starts.

BD: The federal government is providing $300 million worth of aid to the refugees in Afghanistan. Don't you think the Twins and Brewers need some of that?

JD: Given I am a conservative Republican who only believes in government intervention as a last resort, I think the Twins and Brewers will do fine if MLB adopted some revenue sharing mechanism similar to the NFL. After all, I pay ticket prices to see both teams play. As for the Afghan refugees, I think we have an obligation to assist refugees whenever we can. I still shudder at the stories my mother in law would tell about Jewish refugees trying to leave Germany and Italy and western countries turning them away...

BD: What would be your ideal vacation?

JD: My ideal vacation would be to take my wife and son on a tour of all MLB ballparks as long as my wife could be dropped off at the nearest shopping center during the game and we could dine at a fashionable restaurant after the game.

BD: What's your prediction for the BDBL World Series?

JD: I must sadly admit the Stamford Zoots, commonly referred to as the dark side of the BDBL, are looking tough to beat.