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KNOW THY ENEMY

July 13, 2001
by "Biggest Daddy"

Interview with Phil Geisel, Litchfield Lightning

Phil, the people have spoken and you are the guy they want to put under the Biggest Daddy microscope more than anyone else. We have a lot to talk about, so let's get started.

BIGGEST DADDY: What is your proudest achievement as an owner in the BDBL?

PHIL GEISEL: Picking up Edgar Martinez in the BDBL draft.

BD: What is the lowest point of your BDBL career?

PG: Taking the Zoots to the final game two years in a row and losing by one run late in the game twice.

BD: You've now lost to Marazita in the post-season two years in a row. What's that like?

PG: Uh…….It like…….Sucks! and stuff like that.

BD: Which was tougher: convincing Commissioner Glander that you were Mike Fitzgerald or convincing Jamie to marry you?

PG: Convincing the Comish. I had to do a lot of research and prep for Fitzgerald Jaime was stupid enough to go out with me the first time so asking her to marry me was easy.

BD: A lot of the owners in the BDBL have told me they miss Kevin Lowary. Can you go back to being him for a while?

PG: I'd rather start a new character :o) To be continued……………

BD: How many players do you plan to overuse this season?

PG: Whatever it takes.

BD: On a scale of 1-10, how confident are you in winning your division this year?

PG: 8 "Those damn Rats just won't die!"

BD: Why on earth did you release Marty Cordova??

PG: Uh………I don't know.

BD: Do you think you'll ever reclaim your Eric Davis trophy?

PG: Eric will come home!

BD: Is it true that you paid to see a Milli Vanilli concert not once, but TWICE?

PG: Didn't everyone??

BD: Is it true that you once ran over Commissioner Glander with your Jeep?

PG: True but I obviously didn't do a very good job.

BD: Is it true that you are a regular John Travolta at weddings?

PG: I get $200 an hour if anyone is interested.

BD: Is it true you once sang Madonna's "Like a Virgin" at a Japanese karaoke bar?

PG: True plus a duet with another vocalist.

BD: Is it true that you actually own CD's by the Back Street Boys and N Sync?

PG: No comment.

BD: Which is your favorite Back Street Boy?

PG: Brady.

BD: Were you a big New Kids fan growing up?

PG: No way Butthead!

BD: Is it true that you are a magnet for foul balls and various celebrities?

PG: Yes, I have had my share of balls hit at me and celebs near me.

BD: What is your fondest memory of the old CBL?

PG: Frank Viola hitting a double would be tied with the famous strikeout sound.

BD: Who would you rather beat: Glander or Marazita?

PG: Mmmmm tough one………..Well the regular season it would have to be Glander since you don't ever see him in the post season but, in the post season Marazita.

BD: Who was your favorite player growing up?

PG: Thurman Munson was my first favorite player.

BD: Who is your favorite player now?

PG: Bernie Williams.

BD: Which is better: "61*" or "Pride of the Yankees?"

PG: I'll can better answer that after I've seen "61".

BD: "Simpsons" or "South Park?"

PG: Simpsons "Doh!"

BD: Angelina Jolie or Alyssa Milano?

PG: Alyssa!!!!

BD: The "YMCA" or the "Chicken Dance?"

PG: Macarana!!

BD: Jughead Juice™ or a bucket of spit?

PG: Death!

BD: Milli or Vanilli?

PG: Philly.

BD: Brittney Spears or Christina Aguilera?

PG: Brittney.

BD: Dinner with the Shark or dinner with your old high school baseball coach?

PG: Once again Death.

BD: Winning $1,000 in the lottery or winning the BDBL championship?

PG: BDBL (ask this question again after my wedding.)

BD: What position(s) do you play in your men's baseball leagues? What major league player do you most resemble?

PG: I play catcher and some first and dabble on the mound a bit too. I have no resemblence to anyone outside of the boxing proffesion.

BD: If a movie of your life made it to the big screen, what actor would play you and who would be cast as your good friend Mike Glander? Who would the leading lady be?

PG: Myself…….Bruce Willis………..Glander………hummm ………Is Chris Farley dead still?…………Leading lady…….Alyssa Milono

BD: How much does a 16 ounce beer at Yankee Stadium cost? Isn't rooting for the Yankees like rooting for Microsoft?

PG: I think you can get a 16 ouncer for around $6.75 Rooting for the Yankees is more like rooting for the Zoots I think.

BD: Do you need mob connections to be a successful conractor?

PG: Yes you need several.

BD: Would you rather use Paul Marazita's toothbrush for one brushing or wear Billy Romaniello's underwear (unwashed after he wore them the previous day) for 1 hour?

PG: Death.

BD: Where will the Lightning finish in 2001?

PG: 1st.