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Past Interviews:

So Cal Slyme
Plattsburgh Champs
Chicago Black Sox
New Milford Blazers

KNOW THY ENEMY

January 23, 2000
by "Biggest Daddy"

Hot Stove Talk: The Queensboro Kings

Swingers: Although the outfielders will "mud wrestle" for the three spots, look for bargain priced Rich Becker (.406 OBP, VG range in LF/RF) to bat leadoff against righties. One must wonder with Ray Durham and Carlos Lee rated as terrors in the clutch, why the White Sox lost so many games.

Tossers: I'm always concerned with a team that has anyone named Mike "Michael" Jackson. Will he beat it? Too bad he doesn't have Tom Prince to throw to.

Outcome: Felix Heredia needs to accompany me to the Colonel for a twenty piece bucket and potatoes in the box. I can't belief Kris Benson is only being paid $100,000. He must be living on Ramen Noodles.

Check Commish Glander's 2000 season prediction for more details on the Q-Kings.

An Interview with Kings GM Joe Brennan

Biggest Daddy: Are you anything like that guy on the sitcom "King of Queens"?

Joe Brennan: No, I'm slimmer and I have more hair.....but I do fancy that little wife
of his.....

BD: Do you like your potatoes fried or boiled?

JB: Fried; boiled is un-american.

BD: What will you starting lineup look like this year?

JB: C: Nilsson/Nevin
1B: Thome
2B: Durham
3B: Tatis
SS: A-Rod
OF: 900 players mudwrestling for 3 slots per game.
Rotation: Radke, Benson, Nomo, Hengtgen, Estes
Pen: Cook, Watson, Heredia from the left: Adams, Jones, Jackson from the
right.

BD: All modesty aside, where do you think you'll finish this year?

JB: I think the Kings have a great shot at the division: an outstanding
offensive club with 5 quality starters, and a terrific, versatile bullpen.
We should be in the hunt all year, if I don't screw it up with more trades
and tirades.

BD: Being a teacher, do you ever use the Boston Red Sox as an example in the
classroom of how NOT to lead your life?

JB: No, I usually just show them a picture of fat, sweaty Cubs fans zonked
out on beer in the midafternoon sun, and tell them, "This is what
happens to little girls who don't study.
You end up marrying these guys."

BD: You, Pete Rose, Bobby Bo and Rickey Henderson sit down to play poker.
Who wins?

JB: I think, anytime you can get these fine ambASSadores of the game off the
field of play, its the fans that win

BD: Will your players wear crowns instead of caps on the field?

JB: I suggested maybe little tiaras, and we can change the name to The
Queensboro Queens, but Fisk put a stop to that little nonsense.

BD: The 2000 BDBL world series will be _______ vs. _____ (fill in the blank)

JB: Kings vs. some other team, I reckon.

BD: Who would you rather punch? Regis or Cathy Lee?

JB: Ain't no choice at all. Cathie Lee. Without a doubt. Twice.

BD: Is that your final answer?

JB: Yes.