by "Biggest Daddy"

Hot Stove Talk: The Southern Cal Slyme

Before we get to the interview here's a little analysis of the Slyme team using 1999 stats:

Strengths: Although less efficient than in year's past, Kenny Lofton can still get on base (.405 OBP) and steal a few (26) when needed. Chipper Jones (319/441/603, Luis Gonzalez (336/403/549) and Greg Vaughn (245/347/535) provide a formidable 3-4-5 punch that should put some numbers on the board. The solid up the middle infield D of Cruz and Cairo is among the best in the league. Youth in the form of Anderson, Dotel and D. Jiminez provide hope for the future. A Big Daddy in his own right, Calvin Pickering, may be the second coming of Robert Petagine in regards to progressing to the majors. Randy Wolf is young and may develop.

Weaknesses: Although Bob is an active Yankee hater, having Tino Martinez's bat (263/341/456) at 1B is a sore spot. Having a VG defense rating will provide a small amount of consolation, but he's barely better than league average with the stick. The bullpen of Wall, Meyers, Wasdin and 1st team all name candidate Bobby Chouinard will need support. The pitching rotation will be anchored by Colon while Glavine and Wells are being shopped.

Prediction: Slyme fans should sell their styrofoam fingers now or put them in the attic for a few years.

Advice to Slyme fans: Wear body armor if you sit in the bleachers of any Slyme home games.

An Interview with Bob Sylvester

BIGGEST DADDY: You recently played in the first ever BDBL world series. What do you think of the managing skills of your opponent Paul Marazita?

SYLVESTER: Paul is the luckiest #&*@@^&&*, er.....I mean Paul is a fine manager.....for a &#%#^%^&$% lawyer. He definately gets the most out of his talent. Heck, most managers wouldn't want Alicea or Blowers on his team, but he has turned them into trained killing machines. I guess in a word Paul should be labeled "the ultimate motivator".

BD: You're a Red Sox fan in California, doesn't that get lonely?

BS: Actually I've moved to Ohio (Dayton to be exact) to be closer to my Sox. But it really isn't lonely. There is no need to truly get to know people who ARE NOT Red Sox fans. Red Sox fans are some of the finest people in the world and the only truly knowledge baseball fans.

BD: Did you grow up a Red Sox fan? If the answer is yes, what kind of pollutants did they put in your water?

BS: I grew up in Tewksbury, MA and quickly became a Red Sox fan. 1975 was a great year. I hate the Big Red Machine to this day, but Fisk's dramatic home run was a great moment for a 10-year-old kid. The only pollutants in our water was when the Yankees came to town and they spit in water fountains, etc. I can't think of any thing worse then Yankee flem...except perhaps toxic waste...no, Yankee flem is worse.

BD: What kind of players are you looking to pick up in the draft?

BS: Youth, youth, and more youth. I went for the big splash this year and made it to the World Series and now plan on getting young and building around Chipper and Bartolo.

BD: What major league player do you look the most like?

BS: Don Zimmer...oops, I mean Mickey Rivers...nope I guess after much searching with my son I'll answer...Mike Kinkade.

BD: What do you think your opening day lineup will look like?

BS: If I make no trades: Lofton, Cairo, C. Jones, Gonzalez, G. Vaughn, T. Martinez, D. Cruz, Stinnett/Johnson (YUCK), Pitcher.

BD: Who are your division rivals?

BS: None as of yet, but with the possible realignment adding Bobby. That'll be a natural rivalry.

BD: Is the stolen base overrated?

BS: YES...Today's game is a game of power, power and more power. Tony Womack could hardly hold down a job and he stole more bases then anyone.

BD: When you played little league baseball/wiffle ball/softball as a kid, which player did you imitate the most?

BS: Luis Tiant