November 4, 2000

Big Inning Ruins Salem Strategy

LOS ALTOS, CA - Salem Cowtippers manager Mike Glander, desperate to employ any
trick known to man in order to win a game in this ill-fated series, tried a
bold strategy in Game One of this Ozzie League Division Series.  After facing
just two batters in the first, Glander pulled starter Steve Woodard from the
game and inserted his ace, Eric Milton.  Unfortunately for Salem, the ploy did
not work, and Los Altos took a lead in this series thanks to a fifth inning
meltdown by their 16-game winner.

"This Los Altos team is so unbelievably good against left-handed pitching,"
explained Glander, "that I didn't want to play them straight-up.  There's no
question that Milton is our best pitcher.  And Hitchcock - another lefty - is
arguably our second-best.  So I tried to work the Los Altos lineup in the favor
of our lefties.  But it just wasn't enough.  There's simply no stopping this
Los Altos offense once it gets going."

After Woodard retired the first two batters in the game, Glander summoned 
Milton to the surprise of all 48,933 Undertakers faithful in attendance.  The
ace retired Larry Walker on a fly ball to the warning track in center for out
number three.

Milton cruised through the next two innings, as he matched goose-eggs with
Los Altos surprise starter Scott Elarton.  But after whiffing the first two
batters he faced in the fourth, Milton didn't pitch far enough around Albert
Belle, who broke the scoreless tie (and the silence of the Los Altos Graveyard)
with a towering homer to left.

Milton struck out the next batter that inning, but began the fifth with an
unexplained bout of wildness.  He walked Brett "On Base Machine" Mayne and Rich
"All-Star" Aurilia to start the inning.  Then, with one down, Los Altos skipper
Jeff Paulson lifted his starter, Elarton, in favor of pinch hitter Jeff Barry.
Barry, who sat on the bench of the worst team in the BDBL for half a season this
year, lofted a three-run homer to put Los Altos ahead 4-0.  

Apparently, that wasn't enough damage for Milton's taste, so he walked the next
batter, lefty Kenny Lofton.  MVP candidate Terry Shumpert then singled Lofton
to third.  Milton then struck out Walker, and was one out away from giving his
team a fighting chance this game when Belle strode to the plate once again.  
Incredibly, Milton got Belle to ground to sure-handed first baseman John Olerud.
But Olerud - who may win a gold glove this season - bobbled the easy grounder,
allowing a fifth Los Altos run to score.  Milton (who averaged 2.7 walks per 
nine in the big leagues last year and 3.7 walks per nine in the BDBL this 
season) then issued his fourth walk of the game to load the bases.  He then
walked batter number five - "On Base Machine" Mayne - to force home the sixth
Los Altos run of the game.

"I guess Milty just can't pitch in relief," said Glander.  "Personally, I don't
get it.  I started warming him up as soon as the game started, and didn't bring
him in until we had two outs in our half of the inning.  He must've thrown 70
or 80 pitches out there, but I guess it just wasn't enough."

Meanwhile, Elarton was having no problem at all keeping Salem batters off base
- by walk or by hit.  In five innings, Elarton allowed just one hit and two
walks to a team that led the league in hits, and was fourth in walks, this 
season.  He struck out five through five shutout innings before giving way to
Jose Cabrera.  Cabrera then tossed two perfect innings, giving Los Altos a 
shutout through seven.  Doug Jones then effortlessly retired the side in order
in the eighth.

Thankfully - mercifully - the team that scored more than 900 runs this season
(that would be Salem) managed to finally get on the board in the ninth.  A
walk and a two-run blast by Chuck Knoblauch off Jones made it a 6-2 game.  
Another two-run homer - this one by Dmitri Young off Scott Williamson - made it
a 6-4 game.  But it was far too little, and far too late, to matter in this
game against this suffocating bullpen.  Jeff Cirillo lined out to second, and
Tom Lampkin whiffed against Trevor Hoffman for the final out of the game.

"One big inning killed us," said Glander.  "The strategy was working until they
unleashed the awesome power of Jeff Barry against us.  That man is a modern day
Babe Ruth.  It's just not fair to have that kind of firepower on the bench when
all we've got is guys like Harold Baines and Tim Salmon.  Milton had two great
games against Los Altos and two crappy games.  I would file this one under 'C'
for sure."