01-03-03 06:24 PM BDBLcommish "The LA Undertakers (who just called from his cell phone) selects Justin Upton (brother of B.J.) HS." OH.....MY......GOD!!! This league has just reached a new (and frightening) milestone. This kid is 14 F'IN YEARS OLD!! Jesus...what's next? I call first dibs on that fetus from Texas!! 01-03-03 06:27 PM Ridgebacks I'm glad I didn't tell Jeff the name of my t-ball playing phenom 5 year old nephew! I'll be honest, I've never heard of many of these guys going late in this round 01-03-03 07:09 PM Undertakers The talk is that Justin Upton is going to be better than his brother BJ. Only time will tell.... 01-03-03 07:17 PM Undertakers And BJ is 15...not 14...and is eligible for the 2005 draft...if that makes you feel better! 01-03-03 11:01 PM BDBLcommish Okay, here goes... Top Ten Things Overheard in the Los Altos Clubhouse: 10. "Hey - get that kid outta here! Didn't MLB just pass an age limit rule on these bat boys??" 9. "Sorry, kid. No autographs today. Now beat it." 8. "Hey - remember that great '87 World Series between the Cardinals and Twins? Well I don't! I wasn't even born yet!" 7. "C'mon, Mr. Paulson, you promised that if I did all my homework you'd teach me how to drive a car!" 6. "Grandpa Julio, tell me again what it was like to play in that old CBL league way back before I was born." 5. "That's a nice suit, Mr. Giambi. You mind if I borrow it for my prom?" 4. "This field sure is a lot bigger than the Little League field I'm used to playing on!" 3. "My Babe Ruth coach says that I'm going to be even better than my big brother." 2. "My mom says that you shouldn't make so many pitching changes, Mr. Paulson, 'cuz it makes the games too long, and it gets past my bed time." 1. "But Mr. Paulson, Delmon Young's manager lets him stay out until midnight on a school night!" 01-03-03 11:15 PM STMZoots Top 5 contract clauses requested by Mama Upton: 5. All of Justin's orthodontia work WILL be covered by the Undertakers. 4. GM Paulson will be personally responsible for getting Justin to Gymboree every day at 10:00am sharp -- can't miss "tumbling." 3. One year's supply of gummy worms AND a case of pop rocks because Justin wants to see if his stomach will explode if he eats them and drinks soda. 2. Due to Justin's shyness about "little Justin," he will be provided private shower facilities. 1. GM Paulson CANNOT platoon Justin with Shawon Dunston under ANY circumstances. 01-04-03 12:59 AM Undertakers That's some good stuff, boys. We shall see who gets the last laugh when Justin is the #1 pick in the 2005 draft! 01-04-03 01:09 AM Michael Jackson The Undertakers are my new favorite team! 01-06-03 11:24 AM Mike S./Rocks Jeff got caught up scouting on this web site: http://pregnancy.about.com/library/ultrasounds/blusindex.htm 01-06-03 11:31 AM Heatwave That kid in the first trimester grades out very nicely. Could be a five-tool CF with a great arm by 2021. I'll have to update my information and take him next round if I find out he is a boy. 01-06-03 11:47 AM BDBLcommish I just found this picture of Jeff and his coaching staff celebrating the opening of the new Los Altos farm team affiliate (the San Bernadino Barneys) with his latest recruits: http://www.littleleague.org/media/images/02photo1tn.jpg The longer you take to pick, Jeff, the more jokes we get to throw at you. 01-06-03 11:50 AM Undertakers Good morning! Remember I'm on the west coast...give me a chance to get up! To throw more gas on the fire...I've made another high school pick....just for all of you! 01-06-03 11:53 AM BDBLcommish I think I see his strategy now... Jeff figures that if he wins the championship, he'll be the only one of legal drinking age in his clubhouse! All the more for him! Okay, last joke for today (maybe.) 01-06-03 12:49 PM fmimes I hope this motivates Jeff to make a short film where he casts himself as the young and equally irascible Walter Mathau in another Bad News Bears movie. Other cast members include: Paul Marazita: The cigar chomping owner of Chico's Bail Bonds. Sharky: Shows up to every game and keeps the score along with detailed notes on every player. Mike G.: Broadcasts every home game on the local oldies station with aspirations of doing the same for the Yankees some day. The games are supported with commercials funded by Bill O'Reilly and G. Gordon Liddy. Billy Baseball: Calls in to the radio station to berate Mike G. and blame him for the federal deficit, inflation, local taxes, and his vcr not working. Special Guest Appearances by: Mike S. - Cub beat reporter for the local paper. Tom D. - Scout for the Tampa Bay Devil Rays. 01-08-03 04:21 PM STMZoots I'm just surprised Paulson hasn't taken Zach Osborne. For those of you who don't know young Zach he plays SS and pitches. While his fastball lacks a little oompf (72 mph) he complements it with nice offspeed stuff (curve, change)and finished his last major tournament with a 3-0 record with 27k's in 13 IP while(according to BA) "consistently making the tough plays in the hole and showing the hands and agility" of someone much older. Oh yeah, Zach is BA's top ranked....12 year old playing for Little League Champion Louisville. 01-08-03 04:23 PM Undertakers The draft is young...who says I won't take little Zach won't be a member of the Undertakers when it is all said and done???? 01-08-03 04:25 PM STMZoots Justin's mom ain't going to like that one bit.